No thanks. I’d rather my milk then what in a lot of non dairy. I don’t want cancer.
Don’t fuck cows. Your monkey dick isn’t anything impressive compared to the size of bull cock. It’ll be be like tossing a hotdog through a hallway and worse yet, they will lose all the respect they had for you.
Cows will talk and the next time you try to call them from the field, they will ignore you and ask for a real man.
It’ll only go down hill from there. The two legged cow, your wife, hears about it and files for divorce. Soon after she marries the artificial inseminator. You’ll have to sell the farm to cover the cost of the divorce. You’ll try to hang in there for the kids, but as they grow, you’ll notice how much they start looking like the artificial inseminator. You’ll find yourself at a bar, drinking your worries away and caressing the picture of your only true love, Bessie the cow.
Shout out to all my straight sisters I’m so sorry 😞
Jesus, leave his ass.
We learn fast to be very kind and attentive, tho.
My mom, who got her degree in Marriage and Family Counseling when she was 60, says studies show that women will sometimes sometimes leave a long term relationship to live on their own for a while before seeking a new relationship, but men will almost never leave a long term relationship without having a new relationship either in progress or just beginning. They don’t want to give up the caretaker they have without another one on deck or in the wings.
This is so sad
This isnt cute or quirky. This means hes a fucking hopeless user
Please date a man who actually acts like an adult.
Ok I lived with my ex for 2 years and he literally wouldn’t be able to get his own food if I wasn’t at home, I’d get home from work and he’d be angry at me for “making him starve”
My current partner has lived on his own for 8 years and the absolute most I have to help him with is maybe sending him $20 so he can make a bill payment on time
It made me realise for 2-4 years I wasn’t a girlfriend I was a fucking mother
Men who have been independent are capable of reverting if given the slightest excuse. When we married, my ex husband was 10 years older than me and had lived on his own for 8ish years. Yet (and I allowed this until I finally got fed up and took us to counseling) I did 80% of the cooking, because I was better at it. Same with the cleaning, shopping, social planning, etc.
After I left, in the first six months I got texts or calls asking me to please tell him:
The online banking password (dude, I left you, you should really change that)
Where I ordered his special-wecial organic underwear
Where the good cutting board was (my dad gave it to us at our wedding, genius, I took it with me along with the rest of the stuff from my family)
What brand butter we bought
What brand of local kielbasa we bought
Who his doctor was
What RMV office had the shortest lines
Where the old tax returns were (in the fucking box labeled tax returns)
The phone number for his best friend
I shit you not.
Then he had a heart attack (mild) and none of his family or friends were around to take him to the hospital. But instead of calling 911, he called me, who by then lived 45 minutes away. He lived 5 minutes from an EMS dispatch location. He called me, despite the fact that he didn’t believe me 8 months prior when I was feeling suicidal and I had to call a cab to go alone to check myself into the hospital for a 72-hour hold. I told him to call 911, hung up on him when he whined about “making a fuss”, called 911, called his siblings and then texted them “your brother is having a heart attack, I called 911 for him, come home,” and washed my hands of it.
Emotionally vacant men who won’t do household labor or emotional labor are not Nazis, but they aren’t good people, either, and you don’t have to put up with their shit.
Millennial women of Tumblr, please read this post.
And then please: make the decision for yourself to never stay with a man who expects you to be his mother and servant.
This is my grandma to a T. She has lived with the same man for a good 60+ years now and her literal words quoted: “When I’m not home for an extended period of time (week or more) I worry about him eating and then when I get home he’s been eating fish and potatoes for the whole time, even though I left heatable meals in the fridge for him” My grandma pays ALL THE BILLS. Yes ALL OF THEM. The only bills my grandpa puts any money into is car payements and some land-deed tax stuff. He refuses to cook, clean, wash his clothes, any of it.
The whole family is currently waiting for my grandpa to die so my grandma can finally go free, because she’s so stuck into her role as a caretaker that’s the only way to force her to let this shitbag go.
Tumblr, keep circulating this. This is not the 1960s, a dude’s gotta wash his own fucking clothes in our lord’s year of 2018.
Yeah the Rudolph elf meme is funny, but are we really forgetting about all the other great and bizarre Christmas specials moments, like when Rankin/Bass beat DreamWorks to the idea of “Hot Jack Frost” by more than 30 years?
How about when they made a Nativity fanfic with a misfit donkey and a baby angel?
That Santa Claus started off giving toys exclusively to depressed World War I-era German children? (Did I mention he was a ginger)
We also shouldn’t gloss over the time when Rudolph teamed up with a caveman, a knight and goddamn Benjamin Franklin not to walk into a bar but to save the Baby New Year.
Really, Rudolph could fill up this entire list all by himself, considering that he also teamed up with Frosty the Snowman one time to fight thiswintery motherfucker
WHO HAS GIANT ICE DRAGONS TAKE THAT NIGHT KING
And is one of the five or six clowns who are supposed to be running winter in this universe (they were not very creative when it came to making up bad guys apparently)
And later dies in the most HORRIFYING WAY POSSIBLE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT SHOW THIS MOVIE TO CHILDREN AGE FIVE AND UNDER
Oh, and by the way, Rudolph is also Reindeer Jesus. Look it up.
Confirmed: God is a woman.
When I was in college, my friends and I had a private joke about The Year Without A Santa Claus.
The plot, to wit, goes something like this:
Santa just Isn’t Feeling It this year because he has a cold, so he decides not to deliver any presents. So Mrs. Claus teams up with a couple of elves and a bunch of pagan deities (no really Mother Fucking Nature is in this show), to prove people still believe in Santa, because one of the reindeer has been sent to the dog pound.
The way they choose to accomplish all of this is by making it snow somewhere in the southern US. Somehow, this leads to the release of the reindeer, Santa agreeing to deliver presents, and everybody believing in Santa Claus.
